Here at Dice News, we know you’re busy, so we’ve gone ahead and done your shopping for you. We’ve found the things you really, really need to get before the big day. From your beloved office spouse to your real one, not to mention that semi-neglected pet at home, here are gifts for everyone on your list this holiday season.
For The Office
Hmm, what would happen if Ted in sales had that shellacked coif of his mussed? Satisfy your natural curiosity with the Laser-AirZooka. Watch your targets’ eyes widen as they notice the strategically placed laser dot, followed by a harmless burst of air. AirZooka is guaranteed to lift hair at the roots, blow papers asunder and ruffle a skirt from 50 feet. Disclaimer: If you plan to use the AirZooka at work, you’re on your own at HR. So be a courteous, responsible shooter.
The Dr. Who fanatic in your life deserves nothing but the best, so why not go for a mysterious Tardis mug? A spot of hot tea makes the iconic time-traveler disappear from one side of the cup, only to have it miraculously reappear on the other. Witnesses to this Althracian technology will be stunned and amazed by the mug’s intergalactic magic.
Yeee-haw! Does the sound of “the holler” call to you when you should be writing code? If you can’t leave your inner hillbilly behind, strap on a washboard tie and make a joyful noise with this 15-inch, 24-gauge, stainless-steel fashion statement and musical instrument.
For the Home
Don’t want your parents to know about your spouse’s Guitar Hero addiction? Or your mutual obsession with Halo? We suggest the ultimate hide-n-seek furniture with this stylish, two-seater ottoman that doubles as a gaming storage unit. The parental units can sit atop your secret while wondering why the couch is sagging in two places.
Finally, sci-fi comes to the bathroom! In the dead of night, sneak into your favorite reading room to watch the blue Avatar-like water flow from your celestial tap. Easy to install, it’s ideal for help in filling a water glass when you’re too cross-eyed to find the light switch.
For Your Kids
For the Gen X-Y parent in all of us, a T-shirt for baby that’s impossible to say no to. This tiny bit of cottony cuteness will up your competitive parenting game in neighborhoods from Boston to Portland.
Tired of crayons littering the car? Here’s the ultimate gift for your budding artist Griffin Technology’s Crayola Color Studio in HD. It’s guaranteed to make long car and plane trips a whole lot less stressful.
For the man in your life
Delight your Goth prince or Hamlet-loving loon with a skull-shaped USB hub to plug his Mac- or Windows-compatible cables into. Our dead friend can also be used as a paper weight and conveyor of love notes.
Seeking a simple gift for the reluctant chef in your life? If he can manage to roast a chicken, his kitchen skill set will be complete. This gadget gets extra points because beer or wine is involved in the idiot-proof cooking process.
At last, an Apple-inspired gift that’s really useful! Though Steve Jobs may not smile down on iPhone 4S-using beer lovers who use this nifty phone case/beer can opener.
For the Woman in Your Life
Does your squeeze have cold hands and a colder heart? Well now’s your chance to get her to warm up with these hot-to-trot and oh so very sensitive gloves. Her newfound fondness will allow her to ring you willingly without having to chill her dainty paws.
Pragmatic women will admire a man who recognizes their inability to get up in the a.m. without significant assistance. This groovy, retro-inspired alarm clock and MP3 player/charger provides state-of-the-art sound that’s guaranteed to get even the most committed, non-morning person out of bed.
For Your Pets
With all the holiday treats within snout’s reach, it looks like Fido has packed on a few pounds. Give your best friend the gift of exercise and copious amounts of fun with this handy, dandy duck sling shot.
Face it, your goldfish are bored. Since they provide you hours of contented viewing, you owe them a good time. Order this RT Fish Training School Kit and watch those guppies charge, shoot, and score!