Tell Us About the Geekiest Conversation You’ve Ever Had

Tell Us About the Geekiest Conversation You've Ever HadHave you had a good laugh about “best practices” with your favorite LAN admin lately? Do your eyes light up when someone at the dinner table mentions DHCP? Are you obsessed with robots, cats, and coding along with your friends? Do you lovingly refer to your non-tech pals as “end-users?” Yes, yes, yes, and yes? Then we want to hear from you!

What’s the geekiest conversation you’ve ever had? Okay – choose just one. Was it about the finer points of setting up a Mail Server in a mixed environment? A debate over network protocols? An explanation of how you constructed an aquarium from a couple of old Mac Classics? The best way to remove roadblocks to the cloud? Why Nvidia Graphics Cards are the best? When Facebook will reach its tipping point? Where unicorns hide? What an average day for Aquaman is like? Who would win in a catfight between Buffy and Hermione?

As technology professionals, we’re the only people truly equipped to take over the world. Therefore, we have the right to debate whether Star Trek is better than Star Wars for as long as it takes. Or what Windows NT name size limits really are. So tell us about it!

Whatever it is – from SSL to HTML, Petri Nets to Harry Potter. But please, no Pokemon.

Send us anywhere from 2 to 10 lines of dialog detailing your conversation and we’ll publish the greatest geek-outs. You can e-mail them to us, or just post them below.

— Ophira Eisenberg

3 Responses to “Tell Us About the Geekiest Conversation You’ve Ever Had”

  1. Me: We had NetWare 3.0

    Colleague: I cut my teeth on 4.11

    Me: That was their best OS. Five was bloated.

    Colleague: Back then we had 100 unique public IPs with no NAT and no firewall. Can you imagine?

    Me: 4.11 came with an open email relay out of the box, right? What a time of trust! Of course we were flagged by our ISP for spamming

    Colleague: Ever deal with the NWGina

    Me: HA!

  2. A Howard

    A while back, as a lowly Assistant Manager at Citibank, in their Systems department, my box, a full VP, asked me to be her Chief of Staff. As she had a very heavy accent, she wanted me to proof her reports to her bosses, and sit in on meetings in her place, when it was necessary to have someone who understood English exceptionally well.

    At one such meeting, I literally sat in the middle of a very long conference table in the IT conference room on West 33rd street. At one end were the representatives of the Systems department; at the other end were those from Accounting.
    Most conversations went like this: Systems people would say what they planned to do, and how they would do it.

    The Accounting people looked at me.
    I then said, “What they mean is, they’re going to do …”

    The Accounting people said, Okay, that’s fine, but what about …?”

    I then turned to the Systems people and translated into Geek Talk, and they responded.
    Watching this take place was somewhat like watching a tennis match. Back and forth it went for about half an hour to forty-five minutes.
    at the end of this conference, both sides agreed to work together, because I was able to retain the ability to speak plain English, even though I had been a systems professional for more than ten years by then.

    And my boss, the VP, was happy because her supervisors were pleased that it went so well.
    Only one thing – No one ever mentioned that I had been the one to do the “translation” at this meeting.

  3. I went to college to get a degree, to back the experience I had, enough said….right graduated three years behind on technology. I started teaching at the same college, four years later I’m still teaching. This is a standard conversation from a Computer Basic’s Class.

    Instructor: Please turn the computer on. Students: Where is the Power Button, I can’t find it. Instructor: The little black button next to the big silver logo. Computer boots up. Log in screen. The password and user id is written on the white board. Student: I typed in my name, but I don’t have a password. Instructor: The user name and password are the same as what is on the board, all lower case. Student: It still won’t work. Instructor: Let me see. I go and look, they are still using their name. I change it.

    Later in the class: System Maintence section. (the simple stuff – disk clean-up and disk defrag.)

    Students: Why should I do these, what if I delete something I need. Instructor: You won’t and you don’t need it. Student: How long have these been here. Instructor: Since I started using Windows and that was 3.1. Student: Wow.. Instructor: Okay, (time to take the geek out, classes eyes are glazed over). Okay, lets compare this maintence to your car. You go and get the oil changed, and a tune up as often as necessary. Car is big ticket item. Computer big ticket item. If you don’t take care of your car it doesn’t last long. If you don’t take care of your computer, you pay somebody like me to come and work on it for the same price as a mechanic, and we do the same thing, a little bit of work and a week later, you get it back with a nice bill for time and labor. Students: Oh I understand now.

    This is a typical class. Age group: 20 to 70. I teach this class on the average 15 times a year.