Like dark hoodies and think Zuck’s life is worth at least as much as your own? Then you may be just the person Facebook is seeking to be its Director of Executive Protection. The social media giant is looking to beef up its security ranks at a time when its lackluster stock price is finally, finally, starting to rise and, hence, so is the wealth of its executives holding stock options. According to the job description posted earlier this week:

Candidates will be specifically responsible for developing and maintaining an enterprise wide executive protection program, policy and procedure development and maintenance, budget development and management, management and leadership and development of executive protection specialists.

Requirements for this Menlo Park, Calif., position include a decade of work in executive protection, a proven ability to liaise with “local, state, federal and international law enforcement” and you must be in “excellent physical condition.” Guess that means no gorging on all the free food and snacks the company provides. Prospective candidates also have to be prepared for “domestic and overseas travel,” have a “clean driver's license record" and have first aid/CPR cards. Facebook also wants advanced training, including tactical driving and self-defense. Defense of others training and marksmanship are not mentioned, nor is a prior career in the U.S. Secret Service. Almost needless to say, “Maintaining the highest levels of confidentiality and discretion on all matters related to the executive protection program” is another requirement, presumably keeping  the new hire from helping Aaron Sorkin write the next movie that slams Mark Zuckerberg.